Battletoads – Everything But the Kitchen Sink

Battletoads is a weird game. The newest Microsoft exclusive is developed by Dlala Studios as well as Rare, who created the previous games beginning with the 1991 NES title. It’s difficult to accurately describe Battletoads as a game other than – too many things and not quite enough of ONE SPECIFIC thing. There’s an absurd variety of gameplay styles and mechanics being thrown at you at any given moment, including – beat ’em up, turbo bike segments, puzzle-platformer, shoot ’em up, countless button-pressing mini-games and even a variation of rock-paper-scissors called Toad-Sham-Bo. It’s the first game in the franchise since the Battletoads Arcade game in 1994 and for better or worse, feels very much like a heaping handfull of elements of the 90’s – beat ’em ups, gross-out humor, Crystal Pepsi and Zubaz were thrown into a blender and playing through the resulting concoction.

Battletoads begins with the trio of amphibian brothers(they are, right?) – Rash, Pimple and Zitz battling their way through the streets as you fight rats and the familiar villainous swine – Porkshank. Each of the game’s four acts are divided into chapters with the first acting as a very basic tutorial for the combat elements of the game – normal and heavy attacks, tongue grab and spitting bubblegum. At the end of the first level the toads waltz their way to a victory ending with a stroll down the red carpet for a crowd of cheering fans. Not quite. The Battletoads are then discovered by a construction crew as it’s revealed their heroic exploits have all been imagined as they have been stuck in an underground bunker for the past 26 years and have since faded from relevance.

The very next chapter shows the toads as they have taken day jobs sending corporate emails, working as a masseuse, and signing autographs at conventions. This is the first of many chapters devoted to a series of mini-games as you press a series of buttons on the controller as Zitz sends out emails, rotate the joysticks in corresponding directions as Pimple massages a client, and alternate between right and left triggers as Rash goes through a pile of photos at a signing table.

In Chapter 3 we see Rash struggle with adjusting to life outside of pummeling rats and pigs and he concocts a plan to seek out their arch-nemesis, the Dark Queen, who is holed up at an abandoned theme park…or so Rash has assumed. The Battletoads set off towards the theme park on rented turbo bikes as the entire level is spent avoiding a number of columns and roadblocks in an obvious callback to the infamous turbo bike levels on the NES.

Upon arriving at the abandoned theme park, the next two chapters are primarily comprised of familiar beat ’em up mechanics, with a few electrical current puzzles to solve along the way. The combat mechanics in Battletoads are very fluid and you can pretty easily string together a decent combo of hits on the (annoyingly)durable enemies. This is one of my initial complaints of the game – you are frequently ambushed by an entire room full of enemies, which isn’t anything new to the genre, but, between dodging a number of projectile and area attacks it becomes VERY difficult to keep track of what’s happening on-screen. I wound up losing countless lives simply because I couldn’t follow the barrage of colorful enemies and attacks in front of me.

I find the strangest aspect of Battletoads is that the beat ’em up gameplay is abandoned almost completely after the first two acts, with the third act(the longest of the four) alternates between acting as a top-down, twin stick shooter and puzzle-platformer levels. There’s also a set of mini-games in the final chapter of Act Three that I found insanely frustrating as you are given a screen made up of seven different puzzles to solve within the given time limit. I absolutely hated this sequence. There’s SO MUCH on screen that I found it incredibly difficult for my eyes to even detect which puzzle-tile I was supposed to be focusing on. I’m totally fine with unexpected twists and turns within a given game’s storyline and characters, or even variations in gameplay mechanics are rarely unwelcome in games that I play, but this was pushed to an extreme in Battletoads. While making my way through the game I actually said aloud, “what the hell is this game gonna expect me to do next?”.

Just looking at this causes anxiety…

One of the standout elements of Battletoads is its wonderful hand-drawn characters and backgrounds; the animations are very well done and have a very nice Nickelodeon-esque look to them(the art style is strikingly similar to The Fairly Oddparents). The story itself fits the tone and humor of the early 90’s Nicktoons like Ren & Stimpy or Rocko’s Modern Life, I found myself laughing out loud a few different times(the mature, refined indiviual I am) by the combination of bizarre/gross-out humor and number of referential jokes making light of the series’ twenty plus-years of irrelevance. Another game I referenced while playing through Battletoads was Earthworm Jim as they share a common ability to make me laugh simply with sight gags and sound effects(I told you, classy stuff).

Another highlight of the game is the soundtrack and sound effects. The level music perfectly fits the rock/metal genre one would expect from a brawler-type game, I found much of it stuck in my head throughout the day after playing. The sound effects in the game are very crisp and crunchy, lending themselves nicely to the genre and overall humor of the game, similar to Rocko’s Modern Life or Earthworm Jim.

There’s so much going on in Battletoads that even those devoid an attention span such as myself found it a bit hard to follow. The game has some quality moments and is a pretty damn good beat ’em up when it wants to be, but often feels as if the game itself couldn’t decide which direction to go. The controls and animations are enjoyable enough despite the overload of on-screen action at times. It’s interesting that both Battletoads and Streets of Rage received sequels after the last entries of each respective series happening well over twenty years ago. Streets of Rage 4, I feel is the overall better game as it’s a little more of a condensed experience that sticks to what it does best while Battletoads is a lighter, slightly more forgiving playthrough with a little bit of everything…and then some. Do I recommend Battletoads? For anyone who grew up during the 90’s and/or has played the previous games, it’s defninitely worth giving a try, especially for those with a Game Pass subscription, where you can currently play both Battletoads and Streets of Rage 4. #NotAGamePassAd

If anyone else has played the game, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Here’s a few more screenshots to showcase the ridiculous amount of stuff thrown at you…thanks for reading!

20 Years of Perfect Dark

Today marks the 20th anniversary of Perfect Dark, an all-time favorite N64 game that meant a lot to me during my early teen years.

The memories…

I got an N64 in 1998 as a birthday present after spending the past year and a half playing games like Mario 64 and Diddy Kong Racing at my friends and neighbor’s. I had also come across a commercial while watching Nickelodeon for a game called Banjo-Kazooie(which I’ve totally NEVER mentioned before on this blog) and decided I needed a Nintendo 64. I finally got the 64-bit console for my birthday and almost immediately went to my neighbor’s and borrowed a few games. I remember borrowing Cruisin’ USA, which had been one of my favorites to play in the mall arcade, and the video game adaptation of the 007 movie, GoldenEye.

GoldenEye remains significant in gaming history as THE game demonstrating first-person shooters’ viability as a console genre. Where FPS titles had been a mainstay for PC gaming since the early 90’s with games like Wolfenstein 3D and Doom, consoles had only known a select few. I remember the very first time I played GoldenEye and not being entirely sure about how to play the game “you can’t even see yourself!”, but it quickly became one of my favorites on the N64, especially when playing split-screen multiplayer with some friends. It feels weird to remember a time when FPS games weren’t the visible genre in gaming.

I remember reading monthly issues of Nintendo Power and being intrigued by the sound of Rare’s successor to GoldenEye’s FPS crown – Perfect Dark. The game looked impressive from magazine screenshots and sounded like it was going to be every bit as good as GoldenEye. Perfect Dark is probably the earliest instance I can remember of getting legitimately HYPED for an upcoming release; I knew I wanted to play the game. The fact the game was being developed by Rare, the studio behind some of my favorites like Donkey Kong Country, GoldenEye and Banjo-Kazooie, made it even easier to buy into the excitement.

Perfect Dark was released in May 2000 and I finally got the game a couple months later when I was able to convince my mom to buy the game for me at our nearest Wal-Mart. I was unsure what my answer would be when I pointed to an M-rated game in the plexiglass game case. I remember finally getting to hold the game and wanting to return home immediately so I could pop the cartridge in my N64 and start playing.

Feeling like I knew more or less what to expect from the game after spending many hours playing GoldenEye, I was still blown away first by the graphics as the opening cutscene shows a lone helicopter flying across the city skyline and landing on the helipad as Joanna Dark emerges on her very first mission to extract Dr. Carroll from the dataDyne headquarters. The glossy visuals were the most impressive I had ever seen as I quickly learned there was a lone guard and security camera at the bottom of the walkway. The sounds of everything from a silenced Falcon 2 pistol to the sound of footsteps on a metal walkway were nice and crisp and the soundtrack, done mostly by Graeme Norgate and Grant Kirkhope is memorable and perfectly captured the cool spy/sci-fi presentation of the game.

The story itself wasn’t revolutionary, but solid enough to progress the game along as it incorporated elements from Blade Runner, Ghost in the Shell and The X-Files. I always kind of liked the fact the game begins as rooted more in espionage films as Joanna stealthily infiltrates the dataDyne building with the aid of numerous gadgets(Rare devs have stated their appreciation for the stealth genre-creating Playstation classic, Metal Gear Solid), but soon ventures into straight-up science fiction involving the Maian and Skedar aliens as Joanna is sent to retrieve a Maian named Elvis who has crashed at Area 51(of course…). The X-Files influence is on display here as many episodes of the show begin with more-grounded plotlines before veering into an array of fantastical happenings. This was still during the time where FPS titles were considered purely a “gameplay” game in which a competent story was merely a pleasant addition and not an expectation. A shooter title having creative, fun to use weapons on the other hand, was expected and Perfect Dark delivered in providing unique and memorable weapons like the Falcon 2 pistol, SuperDragon assault rifle, Laptop Gun, and the FarSight XR-20 rail gun. And then there was the multiplayer…

Perfect Dark was praised upon release for its impressive list of multiplayer options and game modes. The range of multiplayer options available in GoldenEye were back, along with a number of new modes like King of the Hill, Hacker Central and Counter-Operative. A number of challenge scenarios and weapons range are also included in the game. In addition to the standard 4 player split-screen deathmatches, Perfect Dark features a number of different A.I. bots and allowing for up to 12 characters(4 human, 8 cpu) to play simultaneously. I fondly recall going through all the different Combat Simulator options and setting up matches for my neighbor, younger brother and I to play against the cpu controlled Turtle Sim or Venge Sims. This made for an unmatched multiplayer experience(on console at least) and surpassed GoldenEye in every way. The variety of game modes and options in Perfect Dark’s Combat Simulator provided a few hundred hours worth of mayhem and I loved every minute of it.

Going Back…

Returning to Perfect Dark after all these years I feel the game has held up reasonably well, the biggest hurdle for most will likely rest upon using the often-mocked N64 controller. Nintendo’s three-pronged controller was revolutionary at the time in being the first to utilize an analog joystick to allow the greater freedom of movement that was showcased in the first generation of entirely 3D games. Going back to using just one control stick to manuever your way through a shooter game worked well enough at the time, but now seems archaic as we’ve become accustomed to the dual stick orientation allowing players control of both X and Y axes. The four C Buttons on the N64 controller acted as the second control stick and were utitlized to allow you to adjust your aim vertically by pressing the Up/Down buttons as well as the Left/Right buttons making it so you can strafe. The game also featured a pretty generous aim-assist to compensate for any lack of maneuverability; of course you could press the Z or R buttons for a more precise aim, but this would prevent any lateral movement as you could only move the crosshairs. Nearly any FPS player can tell you that having to come to a complete stop to freely aim at a particular target isn’t ideal, but those were the limitations of the time.

Along with the single joystick orientation, the biggest drawback to playing Perfect Dark after 20 years is the inconsistent frame rate. The biggest criticisms of the game after its release were usually directed at the frame rate which would take a severe hit when too many things started happening onscreen. Members of the development team at Rare have stated in the past that GoldenEye nearly pushed the N64 to its limits in 1997, so the fact they were able to manage to fit a bigger, more polished game like Perfect Dark on a 32mb cartridge is impressive. The game also required the N64 Expansion Pak which added a whopping 4mb of extra RAM to the console, without it over two-thirds of the game were unaccessible. Despite the added memory of the Expansion Pak, playing Perfect Dark would still subject players to the occasional moments of frame rates dropping, the worst instances would typically occur in multiplayer matches. I remember plenty of multiplayer matches where my younger brother and I would play against more than two or so CPU bots and once the bullets started flying, the frame rate would quite noticeably drop. Issues that were prevalent in the game in 2000 seem magnified even greater after all these years. The HD remaster of the game for Xbox Live in 2010 corrected most of the frame rate issues and offers the smoothest playing experience of the game. Unrelated thought: I’d LOVE to see Rare make a return to Nintendo consoles with the Rare Replay collection getting a Switch release…

Legacy

Rare was on top of the world by the time that Perfect Dark was released, the studio had seen massive commercial and critical success with games such as:

  • Killer Instinct
  • Donkey Kong Country
  • GoldenEye
  • Diddy Kong Racing
  • Banjo-Kazooie/Tooie
  • Jet Force Gemini
  • Donkey Kong 64
  • Perfect Dark
  • Conker’s Bad Fur Day

Perfect Dark saw a prequel – Perfect Dark Zero released as a launch title for the Xbox 360 in 2005 after Rare was purchased by Microsoft. The game was pretty solid, but didn’t seem to capture the same magic as the previous game(I do want to return to the game as I’ve always felt I likely never gave it enough of a chance). Another game series that plays as a spiritual successor to GoldenEye and Perfect Dark is the TimeSplitters series which was created by members of the team that worked on the aforementioned games before leaving to create a new studio – Free Radical Design. TimeSplitters 2 is another vastly underrated shooter that released in 2002 and I can’t help but think the game could have been even bigger if it had not been released prior to online gaming becoming the giant presence it is now.

Rare’s two N64 FPS releases will be forever compared by gamers as they discuss which is better; I’d argue that GoldenEye stands as the more significant in gaming history for the path it paved for shooters on console ahead of later games like Perfect Dark or Halo, but Perfect Dark took everything that made GoldenEye a must-play classic on the N64 and expanded it further and proving to be the superior game. The first generation of full-3D games are difficult for some to return to after the significant advancements of the past few generations of games as many games of the later 90’s and early 2000’s haven’t all aged as gracefully as their 16-bit predecessors. Despite showing its age, I still love Perfect Dark and its futuristic sci-fi setting(3 years from now in 2023). Some of my most vivid memories playing the game are things like environmental/lighting effects – being able to quietly take out a light with a silenced pistol providing more shadows to stay covered; glass panels shattering after a couple bullets or even the fact that bullet holes as well as blood stains remained on the walls after dispatching armed guards. I still remember laughing at the responses of the dataDyne guards, some personal favorites being: “there’s someone over here!” or “ugh…I’m dying!” before clumsily combat rolling out into the open. It’s definitely worth at least checking out Perfect Dark for anyone that has never played the game, if for no other reason than an interest in its significance on the N64 and its place in the progression of FPS games on console going from GoldenEye<>Perfect Dark<>Halo<>CoD 4: Modern Warfare and beyond. There has been rumors surfacing recently of another Perfect Dark game being developed for the Xbox Series X…hmm <cue suspensful music, dimming lights>